TIA

no, not a pretty name for a girl.
Transient Ischemic Attack, otherwise known as mini-stroke.

It caught us completely by surprise last Friday night, while Nu was at the barbecue preparing ribs and hot dogs for a dinner with our friends. I heard our friend, who was chatting with Nu outside, calling my name. Before I knew it Nu was in the house, one hand within the other, walking straight forward, heading for the hallway. Right away I thought, he's burnt himself badly and he's in shock. I was wrong.
I put the ice on his hand though it didn't look red or feel hot. I tried to get him to snap out of it and tell me what the problem was. He opened up his hands as if to say, just kidding, everything's fine! as would be in his character to do and I said out loud "Oh, you're joking!" But what came next made me realize it was anything but a joke.
Out of his mouth came a string of slurred, unintelligible sounds. Then another. I didn't fully understand what was happening, but instinct caused me to yell to my friend in the kitchen "Call 9-1-1!"
In that moment I didn't know if my Nu would ever be back. I didn't know if a major stroke had occurred and affected his brain. I didn't know if he was going to make it. I just held onto him there, in the hallway, and with all my being I wanted to make sure he knew that I loved him. I held onto him, rubbed his back, told him to stay calm, that everything would be alright. There were moments that seemed like days.
My friend was on line with the 9-1-1 dispatcher, who I spoke with as well. Nu was visibly agitated that the ambulance was on it's way. I'm sure if he had been able to speak we would have all known just how agitated!
It turns out that while outside, Nu's hand and arm had gone tingly and numb. Then he tried to talk and couldn't. That's when he came inside. He says he remembers everything that happened very clearly, even though he appeared to be in a bit of a daze.
We got him to sit down and wait for the ambulance. It came remarkably quickly. Many times I've heard the sirens and imagined the worst case scenario...that they were coming for one of us. This time it was surreal to hear it coming and know it was headed for our house. The kids were all lined up watching the attendants breeze into the house and ask their assessment questions. They couldn't believe there was an ambulance in our driveway. It was a housefull, 4 adults and 9 children, but everyone kept their distance while the attendants worked away. Nu was stable, and vital signs were all good, but he was still struggling to get any words out at all. They were also somewhat concerned about a very irregular heartbeat.
The ambulance sped away, and our wonderful friends offered to stay behind with all the kids and feed them supper. As I waited at stoplight after stoplight on Marshall Road on my way to the hospital, it was too much time to think. I wished they'd taken me in the ambulance as well. In fact, I felt I may need one pretty soon after the way my heart was racing and pounding through my chest.
We were taken care of right away by the wonderful nurses in ER, and saw a doctor after awhile. He took some notes and ordered some tests and then Nu was moved further to the back of ER.
What happened at the hospital is a long story...much longer than it should have been. To make it short, basically we waited all weekend to have a consult with two separate doctors, to find out what was going on. One, a cardiologist, who came in to see Nu once about every 24 hours but never gave him any information or showed any human feeling or care for him. Nu saw him Saturday evening, and then late Sunday afternoon again...but only from a distance (!). He came into the ward, discharged another patient, didn't look in Nu's direction, took a phone call and left, never to return. By this time we were pretty frustrated and I collaborated with my personal hero, Nurse K., to have him removed from our case and get some better care. Within 20 minutes our new doctor had seen Nu, done a full assessment, made a plan of care and informed us of it, ordered the tests he felt appropriate and informed us that the other doctor that we were waiting for (we were told he would be there 'soon' since Friday) actually wouldn't be working until Monday morning. He discharged Nu a few hours later, with just a prescription for anti-clotting meds. We were so grateful to be placed under his care, rather than Dr. Shows-up-once-in-a-blue-moon.
During the weekend the kids and I were in and out of emergency (for better or for worse) many times...bringing survival rations such as food, clean socks and deodorant. Also to alleviate the terrible boredom. Nu was stuck in the back of ER in his curtained cubical, between an elderly lady who sat beside her bed and asked the same question each time we walked past, someone who was making indecipherable sounds from time to time, punctuated with yells, and several older people sleeping with many tubes and wires connecting them to their equipment. He didn't realize at first that he was allowed to go outside, so he finished an entire book on Saturday. This is a big deal! Sunday was less productive as he went for walks and spent more time visiting with us/watching Nurse K. and I pass notes and fight Dr. G. on the phone.
It was great when Nu finally got to come home. This week has been spent at appointments, taking tests, and waiting...I hate waiting. We are still waiting. Particularly for the results of his heart ultrasound, which was done Monday. We are hoping and praying for a definitive cause to be identified, so we can treat it.
It's really a frightening prospect to know that a TIA can be a warning of a major stroke, and it can strike at any moment. I have been training the kids to be able to call 9-1-1 and give our address, in case I'm not home. I feel nervous about him driving, but of course, he needs to. This event has definitely changed our lives.
There is so much to be thankful for though. It blows my mind that my strong, fit and healthy, caber-tossing husband could be affected by something like stroke at his age. I am so thankful that this warning occurred, didn't leave any permanent damage and caused us to address the problem, whatever it is. I am thankful for our wonderful friends who were there to watch our kids. I am thankful for all the support, offers of help and prayer we've received. We feel so loved.
God is good. We are not shaken. Even in thinking about the prospects and possibilities of what could happen, I feel secure.

Romans 8:37-39
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In this life, I'm under no allusion that we are promised nothing but happiness and comfort. This society and this generation may feel like it's owed something, and angry when it's not given, or when things don't go their way, but God has already been gracious in giving us so much that we don't deserve. And often we don't give him the thanks he does deserve. Each day is a gift from Him. He doesn't owe us a thing. But He loves us even though we reject and forget Him. We are blessed to have the perspective of eternity. This life isn't all we have. And while we live, we walk with Him, and he is our Help.
I was pondering it this morning. We all went for a bike ride on the Sumas Prairie, and Mekaia and I were sitting on a bench, having a rest. Staring off into fields of blueberries and corn, bathed in warm sunshine. Gorgeous. I rubbed Mekaia's back and he laid down his head on my lap and breathed out a sigh. It was a contented sigh, that reminded me of the feeling of being a Child with a Parent. Do you remember being a child, and feeling that, under the care and protection of your parents, you were safe and no matter what happened, everything would be alright? I realize that some people don't have that experience, and I feel that is a great tragedy. But many of us should be able to remember the sense of well-being that comes from being taken care of by a loving parent. This is what we have as believers in Jesus. We have the assurance that, no matter what happens in this life, He is with us. His love and care do not leave us. Our life here is temporal but there is such a reality that awaits us...unseen but longed for.
I know this is a long post. I apologize, but I suppose serious events such as we saw last Friday cause this sort of deep thinking. So thanks for bearing with me. I'll keep people updated on Facebook as we get results. Thanks to everyone who's been so supportive.